THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END (Adam Silvera)

 A book called "THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END" may not sound the most appealing or uplifting in the world but whilst at Liverpool John Lennon Airport my easyJet flight was delayed (I Can’t believe it either) and much like my easyJet flight this book was cheap...and orange.  

 
 

The book has two main characters named Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio who are textbook average Joe's but in ways which are very unique to them. They both have their flaws but with a somewhat endearing charm. In their world the day of your death you get a phone call informing you that your demise will happen sometime in the next 24 hours. I hate phone calls at the best at times but I think I would be even less inclined to answer the phone in this world. I think it is safe to imagine you couldn’t just text back saying “What did you want?” like I do when my phone rings in real life. 

 As the title would suggest they both die. Shocking I know. The book however is not a story about how they die but about how they learn to live on their last day on earth. Do they spend it with loved ones? Do they skydive or swim with sharks or commit a crime which will put their name in the history books? It really makes you think about how you'd spend your last day and especially who you'd want to spend it with. I took a break whilst reading this book to enjoy said holiday and some of the suggestions that came to my mind were obvious but some much more obscure. Obviously telling my mum and big stan I love them and spending some time with them was top of the list to start with but then I started to think would I want to spend my last hours seeing them in pain. It’s a tough decision. Paddle boarding, walking the dog and a nudist beach all also came into consideration.  

 

 
 

It also makes you think about those days where Death-cast (the company who calls you) doesn't call you. Would you take more risks? Would you spend a day being just that little bit less average? It definitely does make you think. I think if I wasn’t an average Joe and the decision on whether we adopted this scheme in our world was mine I'd strongly vote in favour of Death-cast as I like to think on the days I didn’t get the call I would live a little bit closer to the edge. 

I'd say the main aim of the author when they wrote this book was to tell people life is for living and not to waste it. One subtle touch I really liked was each chapter has its's own super cliché quote. My personal favourite being "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for" by John A. Shedd. Maybe that should be my next tattoo?  

 
 

9.5/10 

THE MIDNIGHT LiBRARY (Matt Haig)

It's been over a year since my last review and a lot of things have changed, yet so much is still the same. I'm still just an average Joe. I have a good job, great friends and an even better family. I also now own a dog which is a lifelong dream and I am still an appropriate age where stumbling out of my local spoons is acceptable. I am a very lucky young man. All that being said, is my life where I thought it would be at aged 25? Absolutely not. Where I am or rather where I am not can all be put down to decisions, whether they are good or bad. I think it's only natural to dwell on decisions and what could have been, especially in a lifestyle where we all know someone from school living their best life traveling Thailand or making lots of money with their cliche small business. The midnight Library looks into these feelings in a way I found truly grasping. 

 

Without giving too much away the main character Nora Seed is depressed and feels like the life she is living is one which does not need to be continued. In a turn of events, she ends up in an endless library where all the books represent a life, she could have lived had she made different decisions, no matter how small. Whilst experiencing these different lives she soon realises that every life has days where you wish you were somewhere else. For me this is a very thought-provoking concept. Where would I be had I gone to Cardiff instead of Bangor for university? Or if I had swiped right on a certain girl on tinder instead of left. What number of decisions and outcomes would need to change for me to be starting right back for Liverpool this weekend? I know the last one is quite the stretch but I did once score a hattrick at soccer sixes.  

 

After reading the blurb for this book I already knew that the main character would realise that the life she is currently living isn’t that bad at all and if she learnt to appreciate what she did have she could be happy. It doesn’t take a genius to predict that outcome, even an Average Joe can work that one out. That being said, it’s a nice concept, isn't it? Especially with the number of people who are struggling with their mental health in today's current climate. Maybe a predictable cliché is exactly what people want to read? 

 

Despite its predictable outcome Nora’s journey was one I genuinely enjoyed following and was a book I didn’t want to finish. We all make mistakes and poor decisions and the ability not to dwell on these seems like a super power to me. An Average Joe but an above average over thinker. Reading this book won’t make all your regrets disappear but maybe it will make you look at them in a different light.  

 

8.5/10

Tall Tales and Wee Stories: The Best of Billy Connolly (Billy Connolly)

 Now I love funny people, I spend 90% of my time trying to be one, but I have never actually seen Billy Connolly do stand up. To me he will always just be uncle Monty from A Series of Unfortunate Events. That being said I have been informed the man is hilarious. I imagine a 50 year old average Joe sees the man in a different light to that of a 24 year old. I didn't particularly like or enjoy this book and that's probably my fault for avoiding the warning sign that it was on sale in The Works.

The book had its funny parts but a lot of it i didn't understand and I have a lot of Scottish friends, so I'm slowly learning the lingo. The jokes were often repetitive, predictable and aimed at a single demographic. That single demographic being the Scottish. I can honestly say I could not decipher some of the direct quotes, despite my best efforts. In fact, i am sure most people would have struggled unless they had a GCSE in Scottish second language. There were funny stories in there, don't get me wrong! What young man doesn't find a story about someone getting their cock out a garden party funny? Or a wee story about having sex in a sleeping bag whilst being covered in vomit? To an average Joe this is comedy gold (yes we're immature). Unfortunately though having finished this book under a week ago these are the only chapters I can really remember in any detail and I think that says more than anything I can write about the book.

There are parts in the book where he almost doesn't try and make you laugh. He just talks about himself and his frustrations and opinions and this makes for much better reading. His input on sex was very insightful and I get the impression everything he says he means completely. The man doesn't hold back. He is also incredibly honest about his Parkinson's diagnosis and how he copes with that for which I can only applaud him.

It almost reminds me when someone asks you to make them laugh. You can say something funny but the delivery can be off and then all of a sudden you can hear the deafening sound of silence. I get the impression if I was sat in front of this man listening to his stories I'd be crying with laughter but for me they didn't transfer successfully into written word.

 

 I would not recommend this book and I felt like I only finished reading it because I had started it, not because I enjoyed it.  As I have said there were some humorous segments of this book, but I expected more from someone who is seen as a legend in the world of comedy. That being said though from what I read I can honestly say I don't think The man gives a fuck if I find him funny or not.

3.5\10

THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK (Mark Manson)

 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is a not so subtle title which does the successful job of grabbing your attention. Who knew the word fuck would grab my attention at the age of 24? How mature. The real reason the book is so popular though is everyone including Average Joe’s give a fuck about something and this can be very detrimental. Learning what to give a fuck about and what not to give a fuck about is genuinely a very subtle art (did I mention the title is great?). We are all victims of giving a too much of a fuck about what we wear, what people think of us and even the length of time it takes the table service in spoons. All these fucks add unwanted and unneeded stress on your life. By reading this book I was hoping this was a subtle art I could master. 

 

Most of this book was a great read but, in my opinion, the best and most influential part was a section called “The do something principle”. In this section the writer states “action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it”. When you think about this it couldn’t be more truthful. He then goes on to say that motivation is an endless loop. Inspiration > Motivation > Action > Inspiration > Motivation > Action and so on which means that your actions lead to more inspiration and this starts of the loop. Now that we know this loop, we can utilise it in a way that is beneficial for us if we think about it in the way that Action > Inspiration > Motivation. Think about it. How many times have you thought to yourself “I’ll just put these clothes away” then all of a sudden you have tidied your whole room when you didn’t really have the intention to do that at all. EVERY Average Joe has had an exam to revise for or essay to write and sat there with no motivation putting it off. Well this book suggests by just starting it or saying “just do 5 minutes” starts of a chain reaction where you end up creating your own motivation and inevitably completing the task. Don’t get me wrong I know that this isn’t always going to be the case and I don’t think this book has magically found a way for me to become the most productive man on the planet but it is a principle I think is worth trying.  

 

In this review I am trying not to mention too much of what is said by the author because I am sure I will only provide a butchered attempt at the point he was trying to make but, this book is full of interesting insights which make you question what you think and if things are really worth giving a fuck about. I recommend you read this book but, I won't give a fuck if you don’t. 

 

9/10

Sacred Hoops: Spiritual Lessons of Hardwood Warrior (Hugh Delehanty and Phil Jackson)

Would you look at that? Another basketball book! They do say it is good to have a hobby, every Average Joe should have one. This book was given to me by a close friend who read my review of Eleven Rings as there are many similarities. He is also a basketball coach so maybe it was a hint that I need some help in improving my coaching? Who knows. Again, I know that Basketball in the UK is seen as niche but I would recommend this book to anyone who shows interest in sport as the advice mentioned within its pages are applicable to any sporting incident as well as life in general. 

Most people I know have played sport at some point in their life. Whether it was rounders for the village primary school or football at a professional level and we all know a coach we think is an absolute helmet. You know the one. Screaming at the 8-year-old for turning the ball over or the one who talks to the parents as if he's coaching the champions league final not the Flintshire U12’s hockey league. I must say I have been very fortunate to build strong relationships with my coaches, some of which I now consider close friends. Perhaps this is why a book on building a team first ideology within a sports team is something I can relate to.  

The writer of this book, Phil Jackson is success personified. All he seems to do is win. Which is why his take on winning in this book is very surprising to me. He states like most Average Joe’s whilst growing up to him winning was everything and to be happy losing was a thought process that would lose you his respect in an instant. However, as he matured he realised that the journey and not the outcome is what really makes sports beautiful. He would rather lose a game where his team has played team orientated basketball than win a game where an egotistic superstar takes over. The more you fall in love with a sport the more you understand this outlook, the more you notice the little things which make the game so much more.  

Phil Jackson has done this through methods which I have never seen a sports coach use, such as using Zen and Buddhist teachings. I can’t imagine these would be a hit with all players, but the process seems to work. I enjoyed this book and I am trying to use some of its messages in my personal life. However, this book was published in 1995 and in 2013 the authors brought out Eleven Rings which covers what this book does and more. This has to be expected as since then Phil Jackson has gone on to win even more and coach the superstars Kobe and Shaq. These extra years have given him more experience to pass on, which is why I see Eleven Rings as more of a hit. 

7/10.

Reasons to Stay Alive (Matt Haig)

When purchasing a book I very often look on Amazon’s bestsellers tab to see what is popular. It soon became apparent there was a common theme. Essentially books on how to be “happy” were selling like hotcakes and this shouldn’t be surprising. I feel like the average Joe thirty years ago might not require a book on how to be happy but in today's society, it has certainly become the norm. It is almost guaranteed that an Average Joe in the year 2020 will have had an encounter with mental health, whether it is their own,a friends or a family members. Mental health is everywhere and can affect anyone including myself, which is why I decided to give this a read. It is very sad that anxiety and depression now seem to be full-time residents in the heads of many Average Joe’s which is why I see the number of what I describe as “mental health self-help” books selling as a positive action.  

I don’t really know what I was expecting to feel after reading this book and I can’t say I was optimistic or pessimistic about it. You might imagine that people who read these kinds of books may expect to be “cured” but I suppose all you can really hope for is clarity? A feeling that it's ok to have these feelings, that it's not just you and maybe even receive a bit of advice on coping mechanisms that might work.

From the first page of this book, I struggled to connect with what was being said and I imagine this is how a lot of people who read this book might feel. The issue for me was that his experiences weren’t the same as mine (to be honest they were considerably worse) and with mental health covering such a wide variety of issues this is a feeling I expect a lot of readers to have. In fact, you could say that it even made me feel a little guilty, which is the total opposite of what you want from this type of book.

The book of course had some good points and one of these was the author's way of describing his feelings and emotions in a way which was easy to visualise. For example, he said “Thoughts are like swallows” which leaves you with a very vivid image in your head.  He also made many practical recommendations on things which helped him feel better that included; Sleep, running, yoga and “to appreciate happiness when it is there” which is simple advice that some may find helpful although it left me thinking “well no shit”.

To me, these types of books need to be relatable to be effective and for me, it wasn’t. That being said, despite the term “Average Joe” implying normality, every Average Joe has lived a different life and to some this book will be relatable and transformational. Sadly, for this Average Joe it wasn’t.

 

5.5/10

Eleven Rings (Phil Jackson and Phil Delehanty)

Having played basketball for the half my life my opinion on a book about potentially the greatest basketball coach of all time might be a tiny bit biased. Basketball isn’t the most popular sport in the UK so my original thought was many average Joe’s might not relate. However, since reading this book Netflix released “The Last Dance” which is a show on the great Chicago Bulls teams from the 1990’s lead by Michael Jordan and coached by Phil Jackson who wrote this book. The documentary even has a 95% review on rotten tomatoes (You need to watch this; 10 episodes isn’t too big to binge). I now have suspicions that interest in this book may have increased.  

 For those of you who don’t know much about basketball Phil Jackson has won more championships than any coach in the history of professional sports (he also has two from his playing days). However, he did have the pleasure of building his teams around Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant; two players in the conversation for the greatest to ever do it. Having coached a youth team myself for the past couple of years I have asked myself “Was Phil Jackson that good of a coach or was he just lucky enough to have the best players on his team?”. Once players make the NBA they are already incredibly gifted basketball players so what can a coach at this level really teach them? Apparently, the answer is a lot.

In my limited experience coaching I have quickly learnt that the most talented players are often the most frustrating. They just don’t seem to understand why the rest of the players on the team can’t do what they can, and this results in big egos and bad attitudes. This book focuses on team chemistry and on how to get the most talented players in the world to buy into a philosophy of we not me. Without giving too much away Phil Jackson is a very spiritual man who has used everything from native American philosophy to zen meditation. I wonder if this would work on a group of teenagers from a small town in North Wales? Chapters such as “ONE BREATH, ONE MIND”, “A QUESTION OF CHARACTER” and “CHOP WOOD, CARRY WOOD” give you an insight into the mind of one of the most successful coaches going and I found it truly eye opening. The chapter I enjoyed most was “THE JOY OF DOING NOTHING”. A brief overview is that sometimes you have to let people solve the problem themselves as this facilitates learning and gives them valuable experience in uncomfortable situations.

This book was a masterpiece. The beauty of it being the many lessons you learn in it can be applied to everyday life. Whether it’s a sports team full of egos, a working environment where people are chasing their own agendas or when your average day has become a bit too much and you need some alone time. I highly recommend.

9.5/10.